


Fushal

by Murataku



Category: Red Dwarf
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-23
Updated: 2018-02-23
Packaged: 2019-03-22 19:06:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13770597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Murataku/pseuds/Murataku
Summary: The slime makes it home.





	Fushal

**Author's Note:**

> I absolutely adore this show and I always have. This is my version of how it ends. It might end another way on the show, but in my head this is how it goes.
> 
> This fic was inspired by a picture by MuddyPaints on Deviantart. Here it is here: https://www.deviantart.com/art/Red-Dwarf-Back-to-Earth-again-337820522

Azure waves lapped at the shore. Golden sand crunched underfoot. Rays of afternoon sun shone down on them cheerfully from above. Red Dwarf’s crew of four stood on the tiny spit of sand that made up the only land for miles that wasn’t three feet underwater, and it was a beautiful day.

The Cat hissed at a crab. 

“Ugleeeee.”

“Well, Listy? Are you happy now?” Rimmer turned as no reply followed. “Lister?”

Lister’s face was unreadable. He glanced around at the sand and the surf, then jammed his hands in his pockets and began wading back to the Dwarf.

Kryten went to hurry after him. “Mr Lister, wa-“ Rimmer pulled him back. 

“Oh, let him go sulk. I don’t know what he’s so upset about. It’s been three million years, it’s a miracle the Earth’s still here at all! I mean, what was he expecting, everything just being exactly the way it was? Identical down to the nearest street? No, no, I know, he was expecting us to pull up right in front of his favourite pub so he could get straight to getting drunk off his face with his idiot mates.”

The wind ruffled their clothes as they watched him go.

Kryten shifted uselessly from foot to foot. “Oh, spin my nipple nuts and send me to Alaska! I just feel like I should be doing more for Mr Lister, sir! This has to be a very emotional time for him, and he needs our support.”

“If you wanna help, Krytes, blow this up.” A flat beach ball landed at Kryten’s feet. “Rimmer,” Some towels covered Rimmer’s face. “Towels out.” 

A shadow cast over them as Lister jabbed a rainbow beach umbrella into the sand. His face split into a grin.

“C’mon, boys. It’s beach day.”

The Cat looked up, a crab claw hanging from his lips.

“Beach? Why we stopping here, anyways?”

“This is Earth, you gimboid.” Said Rimmer, wincing as Lister kicked off his boots.

“Fiji.” Said Lister, lighting up a cigarette. “Er, Fushal. Told you I’d lead ya there.”

“Sir, from the readings we got before we landed…”

“Crashed…” Muttered Rimmer.

“We’re actually nowhere near-“ Kryten cut himself off upon seeing Lister’s expression. “That is, yes. Erm. We’re in Fiji.”

The Cat kicked some sand. “You mean this is The Promised Land? What a dump!”

Lister rolled his eyes as he tugged off his socks. 

“Smeg off, Cat.”

He cracked open a lager, laid back, and slid his hat down over his face.

The Last Human was home.


End file.
